Utah Man Puts Hot Sauce On Girlfriend, Tries to Cook Her In Oven

"Do I have any hot sauce in my beard?

A Utah man, whom the government calls Joseph Anthony Castellanos, is in big trouble after allegedly dousing his girlfriend with hot sauce and ranch dressing before attempting to cook her in his oven. 

Everybody knows that blue cheese is the way to go when it comes to chowing down on some hot meat foodstuffs. But, whatever, I'm not going to tell a man how to season his girlfriend before he eats her. I don't even have a girlfriend and I hate cooking, so who am I to critique.

The word on the street is that Mr. Castellanos was upset with his girlfriend for not coming to visit him at work. That's a strange thing to get upset over, unless he forgot his lunch and politely asked her to bring him a sandwich and a cup of noodles.
While at the homestead that Mr. Castellanos and his girlfriend were sharing, the 31-year-old man allegedly punched, stabbed, kicked, and held the female against her will for hours. When he was finished with the aforementioned activities, Castellanos tried to shove her into the oven, but only managed to get her legs into the appliance.

There is no word about whether the oven was even turned on, and if it was, what temperature did he plan on cooking her at.