Arrested Man Is Really Good At Making Bad Decisions

A Pennsylvania man was arrested on multiple charges on Tuesday night, and his choice of T-Shirt for the day turned out to be a self-inflicted jinx. Michael Emrick will forever be known as the man who is "Really Good At Making Bad Decisions."

After police were called to a retail store where Mr. Emrick was apparently and allegedly shoplifting, he hopped into a stolen truck and drove off while a cop tried hanging on to the vehicle. Of course the cops are going to charge him for vehicular assault, even though he didn't try to hit the cop and the cop put himself in danger.

The man who makes bad decisions led police on a medium-speed chase that lasted about 15 minutes. It seriously took police 15 minutes to catch this guy? The only reason they caught him is because he crashed into a shed in somebody's back yard. And, police get training on how to drive and, therefore, think they are all great drivers and superstars. But, alas, they are not.  

Michael Emrick's left eye appears to have been the victim of a punch at the hands of the police, but I'm sure they will say he hit his face on the steering wheel when he crashed. Or, they will say he ran into a door. 

Emrick was also found with hypodermic needles and drug paraphenalia on his person.



 

Why Whites are Overdosing On Pills and Blacks Are Not

Eat them up, yum.

Why Whites are Overdosing On Pills and Blacks Are Not

Hello, Friendster lovers. There is a recent article written by someone at businessinsider.yeah that ponders the question: Why are white folks dying from opiate overdoses and the like at a very high rate, and yet, hardly any African Americans are? The Dr.'s and the pontificators can't figure it out. I'll tell you why they can't figure it out. It's because they don't know anything about what it's like out on "the streets." 

The reason why African Americans are not dying from opiate overdoses is this: Black people "don't be fucking with pills like that." Another mystery solved by me. You're all very welcome, I'm sure. 

There's no reason for you to read the article now, unless you want to check out the statistics of it all.

 http://finance.yahoo.com/news/heres-one-experts-theory-why-205435837.html

Questlove From the Roots Tells Of Being Fired From DJ Gig By Prince

First, just let me state that I'm not a fan of Questlove (with his rudimentary drumming skills), the Roots, or Jimmy Fallon. With that being said, this animated video of Questlove telling the tale of being fired by Prince is pretty funny. Not as funny as the David Chappelle skit about Prince, but still quite entertaining. Enjoy and let me know what you think.

 

Chef On Morning Show Caught Cutting Line of Cocaine

A Chef On Live TV Gets Caught Cutting Up a Line of Coke

Apparently the chef who was caught preparing a different kind of ingredient knows that his goose is cooked. The chef who got caught breaking up the line of cocaine has guilty written all over his face, especially in his glassy eyes. That can't be good for his career. Apparently he needed that line of coke really bad and couldn't wait to go to the bathroom and do it.

Powerball Loser Cinnamon Nicole's GoFundMe Page Shut Down

Cinnamon Nicole Claims She Spent All Her Money On Powerball Tickets, So She Set Up a GoFundMe Page

Almost everybody who played the largest ever Powerball lottery game (that wasn't really worth $1.5 billion) ended up being a loser. But, the biggest Powerball loser was a woman from Tennessee named Cinnamon Nicole. 

Chances are better than 1 in 292 million that you have heard of Ms. Nicole; she is the woman who set up a gofundme.com page asking for donations after allegedly and foolishly spending all of her money buying Powerball tickets. After her page was shut down, she started claiming that it was just a joke. So, either way, joke or not, she is a liar and tried to scam money from people who are just too dumb for their own good. She had over $800 in donations set to come her way before her page was shut down by GoFundMe. 

Even though we're only about two percent of the way through the year 2016, Cinnamon Nicole already wins the award for the "Biggest Jerk of 2016." Congratulations, Cinnamon, on letting the world know how much of a scavenger you are.

Just to make everybody hate her even more, I'm going to share with you what she posted on her Facebook page. Enjoy... or not.

"Fbf I can't even like/share anymore... My page is under review!!! I Thank all of you who actually stuck by me and stood up for me, I appreciate it. People are so quick to judge without knowing or even considering anything other than their point of view. But this ain't no serious post....Continue to bash, scorn/ scandalize my name ‪#‎ItIsWhatItIs‬ ‪#‎GoFundMe‬ ‪#‎YallReallyUpsetThough‬."

"It is what it is"? No, it is what you made it. I'm actually more upset with the people who tried to donate to her than I am with her.  #Scumbag #dumbhoe #unfitmother

Kentucky Man Arrested For Stealing His Own Urine Sample

Kentucky Man On Probation For Drunk Driving Steals His Own Urine Sample

Tyler Akins was arrested in March, 2015 for driving whilst drunk, and as part of his probation agreement, he was required to mail in urine samples to the court system. The samples were to be mailed via FedEx or UPS so the courts can see if the man was using drugs while on probation. If Mr. Akins did cocaine or pills, which are only detectable in urine for a few days, he would be good to go, providing he could stop using those drugs for a week before sending in his urine sample. But, apparently Tyler Akins isn't capable of controlling himself, and he previously failed urine screens for opiates, morphine, and heroin.

The Kentucky Man has been charged with tampering with evidence and criminal simulation, whatever that is, because he stole his own urine sample from a court drop box. You have to give him some credit for being proactive about his unfortunate situation. It's safe to say that Mr. Akins will now have to face some jail time for his bad decision.

If you're going to mail in a urine sample as part of your probation agreement, you should lay off the drugs in the week prior to mailing it in. Or, better yet, get somebody else to pee in the cup for you if you can't lay off the drugs. 

 

Worker Dunks Hair In Oil At Waffle House Restaurant

"I Got My Hair Did At Work"

Forrest City, Ark. -- First of all, "Waffle House" is the best possible name for this restaurant. No sense in getting all fancy, just tell us what you are and what your essence is all about. At a Waffle House in  woman dunked her nasty hair in the oil with the help of a co-worker during their shift at the Waffle House (of Hair). A concerned citizen videotaped it for prosperity... after some of the hair had been chewed on!

The fine folks at Inside Edition called it "stomach-churning." That's a bit dramatic. It's more along the lines of "fucking disgusting" than anything.

The Waffle House hair enthusiasts were fired and the manager wants the public to know that all has been corrected. Please, go to this Waffle House and eat their (presumably) choice food. Please!

 

New Contraceptive For Men -- Bimek SLV

Bimek SLV - The New Contraception for Men from Bimek SLV on Vimeo.

 A man from Berlin, Germany, Clemens Bimek, has created a new contraceptive device for men that you can turn on and off. The Bimek SLV consists of two little switches that attach to each of a man's spermatic ducts. The man can then turn the switch to the "off" position when he decides that he is not in the mood to be a "baby daddy." In order to turn the switches off or on, one must simply squeeze the contraptions through the skin of the scrotum. Good times, no?

But, it's not that simple, unfortunately. According to those in the know, sperm stays in your system for months, even when you have a traditional vasectomy. So, therefore, if a man turns his sperm off with the Bimek SLV, it's still going to take a few months to be for the man to be sterile... or about 30 ejaculations. 

If you ask me, this is a device that isn't going to be used by anybody anytime soon. It's a great idea, that's for sure, but how practical is it? Besides, you will always have to feel two switches in your sack. Not fun, I'd imagine.

Rob Zombie Has A New Solo Album Finished/For Sale

Rob Zombie Makes His New Solo Album The Electric Warlock Acid Witch Satanic Orgy Celebration Dispenser Available for download

Robert (I don't call him "Rob") Zombie has been busy as of late. His new album is finished and it is set to be released on April 29, but you can download it before then at his official site.

Is the album any good? Who knows. But, before hearing any of the songs I'm already taking off points because of the "look-at-me" long title, which I find to be a bit trite and desperate. At least his new album doesn't have a title as long as Fiona Apple's When the Pawn Hits the..., but Fiona Apple can do whatever she pleases, as far as I'm concerned.

Not only is he releasing a new album, but Mr. Zombie has a new movie, 31, which will be debuting at the Sundance Film Festival later this month before being available at theaters for us regular folks. 

If you ask me, his movies are better than his musical endeavours. But, he doesn't care what I think, he's rich, and his wife is quite the looker, so he will be OK.

Michael Jackson "Off the Wall" CD and Documentary Package

Michael Jackson's estate (cha-ching!) and Sony Legacy Recordings want you to know that they will be re-releasing Wacko Jacko's debut album Off the Wall, on Feb. 26. The album has already sold 30 million copies worldwide. This offering is purely a case of a greedy record company molesting one of their favorite cash cows once again -- it has nothing to do with Michael Jackson as an artist or his music. If you think it has anything at all to do with celebrating Jackson as an artist, then you're exactly the type of person that big business loves.

In order to improve sales of the CD, Sony Legacy Recordings is going to include a documentary on "M.J." that was created by the infamous loudmouth, Spike Lee. The "joint,"
which is titled Michael Jackson's Journey from Motown to Off the Wall, will also be shown on cable television channel Showtime on February 5.

A press release issued by Sony Legacy Recordings makes it a point to remind everybody that the release of the Off the Wall CD and documentary package is being released during Black History Month. Zero dollars and zero cents of each CD/DVD combo sold will be donated to an African American charity. 

If my readership were larger, that last sentence might "shame" Jackson's beneficiaries and/or the record company into making a tiny donation to the NAACP or a similar organization. Luckily for them, I can't afford (at this time) to have a real website with substantial readership numbers. The few of you who are reading this could be thinking, "So what? Why should they have to make a donation?" The reason is simple, really: they mentioned Black History Month and the CD "in the same breath" to stealthily suggest to people that they should run right out and buy Off the Wall (again) to show that they're down with the black cause.

My suggestion to you is that you don't buy the Off the Wall CD and documentary package on Feb. 26. Better yet, don't buy it on any of the days that come after Feb. 26, either. You can record the documentary on your VCR or DVR if you have Showtime and you can listen to all the songs from the album on youtube. If you don't have Showtime, I'm sure that if you wrote to Spike Lee and asked him for a free copy of the movie, he would send you one. OK, Lee probably wouldn't read a letter from anybody unless it was regarding putting more money in his pocket book, but it would be fun to try.

Low Gas Prices Are Groovy

It's 2016, do you know where your kids are? If you're a parent, there's a good chance that you drove them somewhere today, so hopefully, you know where they are. Heck, you might even be driving them right now! If that's the case, then I ask of you to please be careful whilst driving and reading at the same time. In any event, there's good news for you, American driver, although I'm sure it will come as no surprise: gas prices are still low! How low, on a nationwide scale, you want to know. Our wonderful friends at the American Automobile Association (AAA) told me that 71 percent of gas stations in the U.S. of A are letting people have one gallon of regular unleaded gasoline in exchange for $2.

This news makes me happy even though I do not currently own an automobile of my own. The reason that it makes me happy is because my whole life I have been hearing people complain about “prices at the pump.” The minute I was born the doctor said to my parents, “That is the coolest baby I've ever seen. Too bad it's going to cost you so much to take him home. Gas prices are outrageous these days.” People just love to complain for some reason. No matter what the price of gasoline is, people are going to complain about it. If you mentioned to a curmudgeon that you're as pleased as punch with today's gas prices, he'll give you an earful about “back in his day...”

More than 99 percent of Americans know only two things about the economy: roughly how much a gallon of gas costs at their local gas stations and the word “recession.” They don't know what recession means, but they sure toss it around more than they do a football. And that's fine, people don't have to know anything about the economy. However, it would be greatly appreciated if they stopped pretending that they do.

American gas prices won't remain at these low levels forever, but for the near future, it is time to rejoice when refueling at your favorite gasoline retailer. Over the next few weeks, the price of gas is expected to drop by about another ten cents or so. Prices will begin to rise again when oil companies do their winter maintenance routines at their refineries. But that's no reason to panic, automobile lovers, because the average price per gallon of gas for the year 2016 is expected to be between $2.25 and $2.45. Last year's average gas price was $2.40. Does that news give you a nice feeling about the coming year? I sure do hope so. And don't worry yourself over your increasing home heating costs because you are a frugal consumer who sticks to a budget and saves money for a rainy or snowy day.

Most people are thrilled with these very low gas prices, except for the people who are losing money and/or their jobs because of them. In 2015, over 250,000 oil workers have lost their jobs throughout the world, according to an analysis done by industry analysts Graves and Co. And the loss of jobs will continue this year as oil powerhouses such as Chevron and Halliburton plan on cutting thousands of jobs in 2016. A large number of the oil jobs that were lost in 2015 is due to the fact that there is a huge surplus of crude oil in America and other oil producing nations. This surplus of crude was brought on (mainly) by fracking in the U.S.A. and Saudi Arabia's refusal to decrease production as demand continued to drop.

Oil rig workers and others in the business of “big oil action” were paid handsomely, so, for the sake of their families, I hope they put their money to good use and didn't blow it all on new pickup trucks, alcohol, chewing tobacco, and country music concerts.

So, you have your inexpensive gas and everything is going well as far as John Q. Public's economy is concerned. Isn't that just about the time that stagflation rears its ugly head? That's what is supposed to happen, but the economy is only going to adjust its self a little bit. Unless, of course...

Kathy Griffin Took Her Shirt Off and People Are Focused on Don Lemon

During CNN's New Years Live, the outspoken and almost sexy Kathy Griffin took her shirt off and walked around town with an embarrassed Anderson Cooper live on the air. Nobody is saying anything about her actions, instead, all the news media outlets and TV watchers are going nuts over the fact that Don Lemon complimented her "nice rack." He then continued, "I didn't know you had all of that."

So, apparently it's OK to walk around on live TV in your bra, but it's not OK to compliment that person in said bra. "I just don't think I understand."

Chinese High School Graduates Parade In Bikinis To Be A Model Or Flight Attendant

More Than 1,000 Recent High School Graduates From China Paraded Around In Bikinis and Flight Attendant Uniforms To Compete For a Modeling Contract or a Job With An Airline.

You know what really grinds my gears? Well, yes, that too, but that's a different story for a different blank page. Political correctness gone wild in America! I'll briefly expand on that in a few minutes, but first I'm going to get back to the subject at hand: female Chinese high school graduates strutting their stuff(s) in bikinis in an attempt to land a job.

A Chinese modeling school named Oriental Beauty does their local communities a wonderful service. They allow and encourage their handsomest females to parade around in front of an audience full of representatives from other modelling schools and airline training schools. It's sort of like a job fair. Who in their right mind gets offended by job fairs? In this day and age, I'm sure there are plenty of people who are. In China the "air hostess" world is a tough nut to crack. You have to want it. You have to be willing to go down with the ship... the airship that is. You have to be between 5'5" and 5'6" inches tall! One inch is must amount to a lot in China. 

When I read the article about this "job fair" on the U.K.'s pride and joy of Internet destinations, the Daily Mail, I was expecting it to be written by a woman who gets her gears ground by just about everything... especially women being "exploited" or being looked at and judged based on their looks. But, that was not the case. The person responsible for writing the article is Qin Xie. I don't know if Qin Xie is a male or a female's name. And that in and of itself is enough to get a "politically correct" Crankosauras Bex to get the claws swinging and the dinosaur lips flapping and spitting.

America needs to lighten up, big time. The British, the Chinese, the Russians, and just about every other country you care to think of has no problem with women trying to get a job. And you, my fellow American, should have no problem saying "Merry Christmas" in your country which contains a population that is predominantly lovers of X-Mas. You see what I did there? I shortened "Christmas" to "X-Mas"; did you know that there are people who get offended by that? There are, I'm not even kidding. Go ahead and look it up at your earliest convenience if you don't like me and, therefore, refuse to take my word for it.

So, on behalf of myself and others like me, I just want to say "thanks for not getting your panties or boxer shorts in a bunch, Qin Xie from dailymail.com

via: dailymail.co.uk

You can follow the link and look at the pictures and videos of the action if you want. I refuse to post smut pictures with my little story. 

"I'm 5'7", but please don't tell anybody. I really like my job."

 

Females Pay More For Their Products In New York City

photo by Viktor Hanacek

Our good friends at the New York City Department of Consumer Affairs have taken the time to check out the prices of 794 consumer products in the Big Apple. They should've taken the extra time to find the prices of an even 800 products, but I guess it shows what kind of operation they are running there. What they have learned from their little expedition is that women pay more for products such as razors and shampoo.

The similar items they studied lead them to conclude that women pay more for their products 42 percent of the time, while men pay a higher price only 18 percent of the time. What is 42 minus 18? It's 24. So, what does it all mean? Please, you tell me.

One example that is given (and worthy of being pointed out) is that women are paying more for their fancy razors than men are paying for their souped-up 15-blade razors. Isn't that something? Those in the razor industry claim that the reason for this is that men buy razors more often, so it evens out and both genders end up paying about the same for their shaving action on a yearly basis.

According to the report by the New York City Department of Consumer Affairs, the biggest price difference between men's and women's products happens in the shampoo aisle. Men pay on average $5.68 for a bottle of hair cleaning liquid while the fairer sex pays $8.39 per bottle. I've known some women to be very picky when it comes to what they use when it comes to washing their locks... I'm just throwing that out there.

And, so, here's my conclusion -- and the only voice of reason in this world: Women can bargain shop and pay less for their products, so therefore, there is a simple reason why women are paying more for items. Women think that the more expensive an item is, the better the quality. It's really that simple. And women usually want to feel like they are getting the best that they possibly can. You can blame Disney (and others) for that. I call it the "Princess-Syndrome." "Princess" is a word that is thrown around way too much (by mother's, especially) and girls grow up thinking that they need to be treated a special way and given certain things. 

NYC Dept. of Consumer Affairs, you are welcome for the answer that I provided to you free of charge. If you have any other questions, feel free to contact me.

Alcohol Related Deaths at a 35-Year High

A lot of people do very stupid things whilst drunk, which leads to injury and death; even the act itself of drinking is killing drunkards.

According to the CDC, in 2014 more people died from alcohol-related causes (30,722) than people who died because of heroin and prescription painkiller overdoses combined (28,647). So, remember those stats the next time you are getting high and mighty with a drink in your hand and talking trash about "pill poppers" and "junkies." 

What's more is that if you include deaths from drunk driving, random accidents, and murders caused by people who are under the influence of alcohol, that number raises to 90,000. And yet, heroin and pill use (without a prescription, of course) is illegal and drinking is perfectly legal, accepted, and celebrated... and it's all because of the almighty dollar. As everybody knows, alcoholic beverages have ruined more families and caused more physical and mental abuse towards family members and friends than any other substance on our sexy and fun-loving planet.

Japan Goes With "Hamburger" Design For Tokyo Olympics

Japan's Prime Minister's Cabinet Goes With "Hamburger" Design for Tokyo Olympics

 The Tokyo Olympics in 2020 will be held in the yet-to-be-built "Hamburger" Stadium. The Japanese Prime Minister, Shinzo Abe, put his cabinet in charge of selecting the design that is to be used for the 2020 summer games. I agree with the cabinet's choice of stadium design... you should see what design the kitchen sink selected; it was terrible.

"Hamburger" Stadium is designed to hold 80,000 spectators and consists of three tiers. The stadium is expected to be finished in November of 2019 and will cost Japan at least $1.2 billion, which is the expected budget. Of course, projects like this never stay within the budgeted amount. Governments just don't know how to use money correctly. I'm expecting the stadium to cost $2.2 billion.

Former NFL Running Back Clinton Portis Is $5 Million In Debt

Former Redskins and Broncos Running Back Clinton Portis Is In Debt

And one of the people who Clinton Portis is listed as owing money to is his mommy, whom he reportedly owes $500,000. It just goes to show that no matter how many horror stories NFL players hear about former players going broke after making millions of dollars, many of them think it can't happen to them and they end up bankrupt. Clinton Portis made over $43 million during his career, but now has less than $200 in his bank account. Don't you feel sorry for him and other former millionaire athletes?

Portis owes the MGM Hotel and Casino in Las Vegas $287,178, four different women nearly half a million bucks for spousal support, and the IRS $390,000. He is claiming that he doesn't owe the IRS that kind of scratch. If it's true, then he is saying that he doesn't care about his fellow Americans and is taking money out of our country's coffers. Great, Mr. Portis, now how are they going to fix those potholes on the face of our nation?

"I SHOULD CUT MY CREDIT CARD IN HALF. NAH! LET'S PARTY!"

Here Are Some Facts In Video Form -- Wisen Up

It has been a minute or two since I've posted anything on here, so, whatever. Learning is fun.

Poor People In America Smoke More Cigarettes Than Others

Stats are a wonderful thing; they always tell us how it is with no room for argument or worthless opinions. Stats are just like Jennifer Lopez's hips... they don't lie. The numbers are in, thanks to the CDC, and the biggest conclusion that can be drawn from the data collected is: poor people in America smoke more cigarettes than others.

The CDC didn't break down the number of people who smoke by income levels, but the following graphs show proof that poor people in America make up the majority of smokers.

You see how I deduced what I deduced? If you do, congratulations. 57 percent of American people who smoke cigarettes either have no health insurance or they are on Medicaid. If you have no health insurance or you're on Medicaid, you're poor. And, education is also a good indicator of wealth. Poor people don't bother graduating high school because they decide at an early age that their life isn't such a wonderful thing. And, if you don't value life very highly, you're less likely to take care of your health. 

While it is a key fact that poor people smoke more cigarettes than other Americans, another important statistic to mention is that Americans are smoking at a lower rate than ever. In 1965, 42.5 percent of American adults smoked cigarettes. In 2014, only 16.8 percent of adults in the good ole U.S. of A smoked right-handed cigarettes.

So, there it is and there you will continue to have it and keep it for as long as you wish.

via: The Washington Post 
and CDC

Kickstarter Crowdfunding For Mystery Science Theater 3000:

The creator and host of Mystery Science Theater 3000, Joel Hodgson, has turned to cyber begging, I mean, crowdfunding, to create new episodes of his cult classic TV show. 

MST3K first aired on a local television channel on Thanksgiving Day 1988 in Minneapolis. The television show was cancelled in 1999 after 197 episodes and a feature film.

With 29 days left of the Mystery Science Theater 3000 Kickstarter crowdfunding campaign, Mr. Hodgson has received pledges totaling nearly $1.5 million out of the $2 million goal.

The show is very popular and has many fans, myself included, that would like to see the show return with some new material. At this point it seems very likely that it will happen.

Mystery Science Theater 3000 Kickstarter Page