Arrested Man Is Really Good At Making Bad Decisions

A Pennsylvania man was arrested on multiple charges on Tuesday night, and his choice of T-Shirt for the day turned out to be a self-inflicted jinx. Michael Emrick will forever be known as the man who is "Really Good At Making Bad Decisions."

After police were called to a retail store where Mr. Emrick was apparently and allegedly shoplifting, he hopped into a stolen truck and drove off while a cop tried hanging on to the vehicle. Of course the cops are going to charge him for vehicular assault, even though he didn't try to hit the cop and the cop put himself in danger.

The man who makes bad decisions led police on a medium-speed chase that lasted about 15 minutes. It seriously took police 15 minutes to catch this guy? The only reason they caught him is because he crashed into a shed in somebody's back yard. And, police get training on how to drive and, therefore, think they are all great drivers and superstars. But, alas, they are not.  

Michael Emrick's left eye appears to have been the victim of a punch at the hands of the police, but I'm sure they will say he hit his face on the steering wheel when he crashed. Or, they will say he ran into a door. 

Emrick was also found with hypodermic needles and drug paraphenalia on his person.



 

Why Whites are Overdosing On Pills and Blacks Are Not

Eat them up, yum.

Why Whites are Overdosing On Pills and Blacks Are Not

Hello, Friendster lovers. There is a recent article written by someone at businessinsider.yeah that ponders the question: Why are white folks dying from opiate overdoses and the like at a very high rate, and yet, hardly any African Americans are? The Dr.'s and the pontificators can't figure it out. I'll tell you why they can't figure it out. It's because they don't know anything about what it's like out on "the streets." 

The reason why African Americans are not dying from opiate overdoses is this: Black people "don't be fucking with pills like that." Another mystery solved by me. You're all very welcome, I'm sure. 

There's no reason for you to read the article now, unless you want to check out the statistics of it all.

 http://finance.yahoo.com/news/heres-one-experts-theory-why-205435837.html

Questlove From the Roots Tells Of Being Fired From DJ Gig By Prince

First, just let me state that I'm not a fan of Questlove (with his rudimentary drumming skills), the Roots, or Jimmy Fallon. With that being said, this animated video of Questlove telling the tale of being fired by Prince is pretty funny. Not as funny as the David Chappelle skit about Prince, but still quite entertaining. Enjoy and let me know what you think.

 

Chef On Morning Show Caught Cutting Line of Cocaine

A Chef On Live TV Gets Caught Cutting Up a Line of Coke

Apparently the chef who was caught preparing a different kind of ingredient knows that his goose is cooked. The chef who got caught breaking up the line of cocaine has guilty written all over his face, especially in his glassy eyes. That can't be good for his career. Apparently he needed that line of coke really bad and couldn't wait to go to the bathroom and do it.

Powerball Loser Cinnamon Nicole's GoFundMe Page Shut Down

Cinnamon Nicole Claims She Spent All Her Money On Powerball Tickets, So She Set Up a GoFundMe Page

Almost everybody who played the largest ever Powerball lottery game (that wasn't really worth $1.5 billion) ended up being a loser. But, the biggest Powerball loser was a woman from Tennessee named Cinnamon Nicole. 

Chances are better than 1 in 292 million that you have heard of Ms. Nicole; she is the woman who set up a gofundme.com page asking for donations after allegedly and foolishly spending all of her money buying Powerball tickets. After her page was shut down, she started claiming that it was just a joke. So, either way, joke or not, she is a liar and tried to scam money from people who are just too dumb for their own good. She had over $800 in donations set to come her way before her page was shut down by GoFundMe. 

Even though we're only about two percent of the way through the year 2016, Cinnamon Nicole already wins the award for the "Biggest Jerk of 2016." Congratulations, Cinnamon, on letting the world know how much of a scavenger you are.

Just to make everybody hate her even more, I'm going to share with you what she posted on her Facebook page. Enjoy... or not.

"Fbf I can't even like/share anymore... My page is under review!!! I Thank all of you who actually stuck by me and stood up for me, I appreciate it. People are so quick to judge without knowing or even considering anything other than their point of view. But this ain't no serious post....Continue to bash, scorn/ scandalize my name ‪#‎ItIsWhatItIs‬ ‪#‎GoFundMe‬ ‪#‎YallReallyUpsetThough‬."

"It is what it is"? No, it is what you made it. I'm actually more upset with the people who tried to donate to her than I am with her.  #Scumbag #dumbhoe #unfitmother

Kentucky Man Arrested For Stealing His Own Urine Sample

Kentucky Man On Probation For Drunk Driving Steals His Own Urine Sample

Tyler Akins was arrested in March, 2015 for driving whilst drunk, and as part of his probation agreement, he was required to mail in urine samples to the court system. The samples were to be mailed via FedEx or UPS so the courts can see if the man was using drugs while on probation. If Mr. Akins did cocaine or pills, which are only detectable in urine for a few days, he would be good to go, providing he could stop using those drugs for a week before sending in his urine sample. But, apparently Tyler Akins isn't capable of controlling himself, and he previously failed urine screens for opiates, morphine, and heroin.

The Kentucky Man has been charged with tampering with evidence and criminal simulation, whatever that is, because he stole his own urine sample from a court drop box. You have to give him some credit for being proactive about his unfortunate situation. It's safe to say that Mr. Akins will now have to face some jail time for his bad decision.

If you're going to mail in a urine sample as part of your probation agreement, you should lay off the drugs in the week prior to mailing it in. Or, better yet, get somebody else to pee in the cup for you if you can't lay off the drugs. 

 

Worker Dunks Hair In Oil At Waffle House Restaurant

"I Got My Hair Did At Work"

Forrest City, Ark. -- First of all, "Waffle House" is the best possible name for this restaurant. No sense in getting all fancy, just tell us what you are and what your essence is all about. At a Waffle House in  woman dunked her nasty hair in the oil with the help of a co-worker during their shift at the Waffle House (of Hair). A concerned citizen videotaped it for prosperity... after some of the hair had been chewed on!

The fine folks at Inside Edition called it "stomach-churning." That's a bit dramatic. It's more along the lines of "fucking disgusting" than anything.

The Waffle House hair enthusiasts were fired and the manager wants the public to know that all has been corrected. Please, go to this Waffle House and eat their (presumably) choice food. Please!

 

New Contraceptive For Men -- Bimek SLV

Bimek SLV - The New Contraception for Men from Bimek SLV on Vimeo.

 A man from Berlin, Germany, Clemens Bimek, has created a new contraceptive device for men that you can turn on and off. The Bimek SLV consists of two little switches that attach to each of a man's spermatic ducts. The man can then turn the switch to the "off" position when he decides that he is not in the mood to be a "baby daddy." In order to turn the switches off or on, one must simply squeeze the contraptions through the skin of the scrotum. Good times, no?

But, it's not that simple, unfortunately. According to those in the know, sperm stays in your system for months, even when you have a traditional vasectomy. So, therefore, if a man turns his sperm off with the Bimek SLV, it's still going to take a few months to be for the man to be sterile... or about 30 ejaculations. 

If you ask me, this is a device that isn't going to be used by anybody anytime soon. It's a great idea, that's for sure, but how practical is it? Besides, you will always have to feel two switches in your sack. Not fun, I'd imagine.

Rob Zombie Has A New Solo Album Finished/For Sale

Rob Zombie Makes His New Solo Album The Electric Warlock Acid Witch Satanic Orgy Celebration Dispenser Available for download

Robert (I don't call him "Rob") Zombie has been busy as of late. His new album is finished and it is set to be released on April 29, but you can download it before then at his official site.

Is the album any good? Who knows. But, before hearing any of the songs I'm already taking off points because of the "look-at-me" long title, which I find to be a bit trite and desperate. At least his new album doesn't have a title as long as Fiona Apple's When the Pawn Hits the..., but Fiona Apple can do whatever she pleases, as far as I'm concerned.

Not only is he releasing a new album, but Mr. Zombie has a new movie, 31, which will be debuting at the Sundance Film Festival later this month before being available at theaters for us regular folks. 

If you ask me, his movies are better than his musical endeavours. But, he doesn't care what I think, he's rich, and his wife is quite the looker, so he will be OK.

Michael Jackson "Off the Wall" CD and Documentary Package

Michael Jackson's estate (cha-ching!) and Sony Legacy Recordings want you to know that they will be re-releasing Wacko Jacko's debut album Off the Wall, on Feb. 26. The album has already sold 30 million copies worldwide. This offering is purely a case of a greedy record company molesting one of their favorite cash cows once again -- it has nothing to do with Michael Jackson as an artist or his music. If you think it has anything at all to do with celebrating Jackson as an artist, then you're exactly the type of person that big business loves.

In order to improve sales of the CD, Sony Legacy Recordings is going to include a documentary on "M.J." that was created by the infamous loudmouth, Spike Lee. The "joint,"
which is titled Michael Jackson's Journey from Motown to Off the Wall, will also be shown on cable television channel Showtime on February 5.

A press release issued by Sony Legacy Recordings makes it a point to remind everybody that the release of the Off the Wall CD and documentary package is being released during Black History Month. Zero dollars and zero cents of each CD/DVD combo sold will be donated to an African American charity. 

If my readership were larger, that last sentence might "shame" Jackson's beneficiaries and/or the record company into making a tiny donation to the NAACP or a similar organization. Luckily for them, I can't afford (at this time) to have a real website with substantial readership numbers. The few of you who are reading this could be thinking, "So what? Why should they have to make a donation?" The reason is simple, really: they mentioned Black History Month and the CD "in the same breath" to stealthily suggest to people that they should run right out and buy Off the Wall (again) to show that they're down with the black cause.

My suggestion to you is that you don't buy the Off the Wall CD and documentary package on Feb. 26. Better yet, don't buy it on any of the days that come after Feb. 26, either. You can record the documentary on your VCR or DVR if you have Showtime and you can listen to all the songs from the album on youtube. If you don't have Showtime, I'm sure that if you wrote to Spike Lee and asked him for a free copy of the movie, he would send you one. OK, Lee probably wouldn't read a letter from anybody unless it was regarding putting more money in his pocket book, but it would be fun to try.

Low Gas Prices Are Groovy

It's 2016, do you know where your kids are? If you're a parent, there's a good chance that you drove them somewhere today, so hopefully, you know where they are. Heck, you might even be driving them right now! If that's the case, then I ask of you to please be careful whilst driving and reading at the same time. In any event, there's good news for you, American driver, although I'm sure it will come as no surprise: gas prices are still low! How low, on a nationwide scale, you want to know. Our wonderful friends at the American Automobile Association (AAA) told me that 71 percent of gas stations in the U.S. of A are letting people have one gallon of regular unleaded gasoline in exchange for $2.

This news makes me happy even though I do not currently own an automobile of my own. The reason that it makes me happy is because my whole life I have been hearing people complain about “prices at the pump.” The minute I was born the doctor said to my parents, “That is the coolest baby I've ever seen. Too bad it's going to cost you so much to take him home. Gas prices are outrageous these days.” People just love to complain for some reason. No matter what the price of gasoline is, people are going to complain about it. If you mentioned to a curmudgeon that you're as pleased as punch with today's gas prices, he'll give you an earful about “back in his day...”

More than 99 percent of Americans know only two things about the economy: roughly how much a gallon of gas costs at their local gas stations and the word “recession.” They don't know what recession means, but they sure toss it around more than they do a football. And that's fine, people don't have to know anything about the economy. However, it would be greatly appreciated if they stopped pretending that they do.

American gas prices won't remain at these low levels forever, but for the near future, it is time to rejoice when refueling at your favorite gasoline retailer. Over the next few weeks, the price of gas is expected to drop by about another ten cents or so. Prices will begin to rise again when oil companies do their winter maintenance routines at their refineries. But that's no reason to panic, automobile lovers, because the average price per gallon of gas for the year 2016 is expected to be between $2.25 and $2.45. Last year's average gas price was $2.40. Does that news give you a nice feeling about the coming year? I sure do hope so. And don't worry yourself over your increasing home heating costs because you are a frugal consumer who sticks to a budget and saves money for a rainy or snowy day.

Most people are thrilled with these very low gas prices, except for the people who are losing money and/or their jobs because of them. In 2015, over 250,000 oil workers have lost their jobs throughout the world, according to an analysis done by industry analysts Graves and Co. And the loss of jobs will continue this year as oil powerhouses such as Chevron and Halliburton plan on cutting thousands of jobs in 2016. A large number of the oil jobs that were lost in 2015 is due to the fact that there is a huge surplus of crude oil in America and other oil producing nations. This surplus of crude was brought on (mainly) by fracking in the U.S.A. and Saudi Arabia's refusal to decrease production as demand continued to drop.

Oil rig workers and others in the business of “big oil action” were paid handsomely, so, for the sake of their families, I hope they put their money to good use and didn't blow it all on new pickup trucks, alcohol, chewing tobacco, and country music concerts.

So, you have your inexpensive gas and everything is going well as far as John Q. Public's economy is concerned. Isn't that just about the time that stagflation rears its ugly head? That's what is supposed to happen, but the economy is only going to adjust its self a little bit. Unless, of course...

Kathy Griffin Took Her Shirt Off and People Are Focused on Don Lemon

During CNN's New Years Live, the outspoken and almost sexy Kathy Griffin took her shirt off and walked around town with an embarrassed Anderson Cooper live on the air. Nobody is saying anything about her actions, instead, all the news media outlets and TV watchers are going nuts over the fact that Don Lemon complimented her "nice rack." He then continued, "I didn't know you had all of that."

So, apparently it's OK to walk around on live TV in your bra, but it's not OK to compliment that person in said bra. "I just don't think I understand."