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| WE WANT YOU... TO SHUT US OUT! |
Facts and statistics can be fun, but believe me when I tell
you that the fun factor depends on the reader and their individual fun
allowance. As soon as I could read, that’s when my love of statistics and
factoids took hold; and sports provided plenty of fodder for my brain to enjoy.
Reading the back of football cards to see how a player’s career has done “the
ebb and flow dance” provided hours of entertainment. Some of those cards would
throw in a “fun” fact about a player’s personal life: “Joe Namath wore
pantyhose on a TV commercial.” That wasn’t one of the facts I read on a card (my
mother informed me of that fact), but it would’ve been hysterical to read on a card.
It is my recommendation to you that you be a good sport and enjoy some facts
and stats that I’ve gone through the trouble of compiling for you. Enjoy -- or
not, if you’re a jerk.
There
are Currently Seven NFL Teams Without Cheerleaders:
If you’ve never paid much attention
to NFL cheerleaders during a game, you probably just assumed that every NFL
team has a set of peppy girls on their sidelines. But there are currently seven
pro football teams without cheerleaders, and they are: Steelers, Giants,
Browns, Lions, Bears, Packers, and the Buffalo Bills. Minnesota is the only
team in the NFC North that has cheerleaders… isn’t that something.
The Pittsburgh Steelers was
the first professional football team to form a pom-pom posse. In 1961 the nearby
Robert Morris junior college didn’t have a football team, but they did have
young ladies that had spirit and spunk. The vice president of the college,
William V. Day, offered up some fresh young girls to the Steelers, and the
Steelerettes were created. The girls (and cheer guys, called the Ingots) were
paid one ticket to each home game for their cheerleading services. The Steelerettes
and the Ingots only lasted from 1961 until 1969.
Buffalo Bills fans have been
without their beloved Buffalo Jills on the sidelines since 2014. The Bills,
like the Raiders and Bengals, were hit with lawsuits by cheerleaders who didn’t
think they were being paid fairly – they were being paid less than their state’s
minimum wage rate. However, the Jills were independent contractors and,
therefore, the minimum wage protection law didn’t apply to them. Instead of
continuing to fight in court with the Jills and their lawyers, the Bills
decided that having a squad of sideline dancers wasn’t very important and
decided to ditch the whole act.
In 2015 a New York
assemblywoman crammed a bill through the assembly which declared that pro sports
teams in the state must hire cheerleaders as part of the organization and not
as independent contractors. Feel free to research the story if you want to stay
on top of all the latest legal happenings with the former Buffalo Jills.
L.A.
Rams, the Only Team to not Score During Week 1 of 2016:
If you were fortunate enough
to watch the massacre disguised as the first Monday Night Football game of the
year, you were treated to a doozy of epic proportions. The Rams travelled (via
airplane) to San Francisco and were trounced by the 49ers to the tune of 28-0.
San Francisco fans probably enjoyed the game, but the rest of our football-loving
nation didn’t have much to get excited about. Los Angeles was the only NFL team
that failed to score a single point during week 1, which pretty much makes them
the biggest losers in the league, if not the world.
Last season there were no
teams that left a big smelly “zilch-o-rama” on the scoreboard in week 1 action,
so the Rams are in good company with themselves at this time. Interestingly,
it’s the first time that any NFL team failed to score in their first game of the
season since 2009, when the Seattle Seahawks hosted and defeated the Rams. What could possibly make that
fact even more fun than it already is? The score of that game was also 28-0.
Four
Teams That Never Played in a Super Bowl:
How often do you hear your
friends brag about how many Super Bowls their favorite team has won? If your
answer to that question is “never,” consider yourself lucky. It’s possible that
your friends are sensible and don’t bring up old shit -- but let’s face it,
most friends aren’t that decent. What would be cool and refreshing (like soda)
is bragging how your team has never even played
in “The Big Game.” If you’re a fan of the Browns,
Lions, Texans, or Jaguars, then
you’ve got a new trick up your sleeve to adjust the mood when a Cowboys fan
informs the gang that their team “used
to win Super Bowls all the time… like every day.”
The Texans and the Jaguars
haven’t been around as long as most of the other teams in the NFL, so they are
offered a little bit of a reprieve from derision, but not too much. Trash talk is
part of being a sports fan, however, so there is no guarantee of anything.
Hell, there’s not even a guarantee that jokes about your sister won’t be
dispensed. If you don’t have a sister, your mom or dog will have to be
substituted in there.
Some
Quick NFL Facts Before We Part Ways:
- The numbers "0" and "00" are not allowed to be worn by any player.
- Five teams in the NFL that don't (or have yet to) retire any jersey numbers are: Raiders, Cowboys, Jaguars, Ravens, Texans.
- A cow only has a 1:17,420,000 chance of being made into a football that sees action on any given Super Bowl Sunday. One cowhide can make ten pigskins.
- Steve Young (49ers) is the only southpaw QB in the NFL Hall of Fame.
- The only team to ever start a season 0-4 and make the playoffs is the 1992 San Diego Chargers. They beat the Chiefs in the first round of the playoffs, only to later be beat down and shutout by the Miami Dolphins.
- Too many rule changes in the NFL is not a good thing, no matter what the desired result of the rule change may be. What's next? Two hand touch -- below the waist?
(photo credit: John Iwanski, Creative Commons)
