Man Who Escaped Jail Sued The System For $10 Million

Take a look at the man in the picture to your right. He looks like a wimpy, whiny, nerd to me. His name is Jose Banks (40) and he tried to sue the Chicago jail that he escaped from in 2012 for $10 million. He claims that he now suffers trauma from the escape because he got scared while dangling from a rope made of sheets and dental floss. Oh, poor baby.

Banks had a fool for a client because he represented himself in the civil case that was (of course) tossed out of court. 

Mr. Banks and his cellmate planned the escape for months; Banks claims that his cellmate is to blame and that he made him do it. He also claims that the guards should have noticed that he and his cellmate were chiseling an escape hole and stopped them way before their escape took place. In the lawsuit Banks also claims that he has "suffered damage to his reputation" since the escape.

Banks was caught just a few days after escaping while his fellow escapee remained at large for weeks. I guess that means his partner was the better man.

Banks isn't being charged with the escape attempt because he is already facing decades in jail for bank robbery. That's a bunch of bologna. He definitely should be charged with trying to escape. Maybe I should cause a stink and demand that he be charged. No, I don't have time for that... he's lucky.

Leah Remini To Release A Book About Scientology

Well, I bet this is gonna grind Tom Cruise's gears -- Leah Remini wrote a book about her "surviving" Hollywood and Scientology, entitled Troublemaker, that will be released on November 3.

Remini joined the moronic and fake Church of Scientology when she was ten years old. How does one become a Scientologist at such a young age? Maybe her parents were into it or something. I don't know. But it does seem strange.

When Remini left the "church" in 2013, she told them that she was going to run her mouth about them and the time is nigh. 

Leah "Rem Dawg" Remini said that the best thing about not being a Scientologist anymore is that she can drink alcoholic beverages again. So, let me get this straight... she joined the church at age ten and couldn't drink while she was a member of the church and dearly missed being able to get drunk. So, what she is saying is that she was boozing it up when she was a 10-year-old girl? If that's not the case, then something doesn't add up... which is also the case with Scientology; something just doesn't add up.

Darryl McDaniels From Run DMC Answers Questions On Reddit

Darryl McDaniels from the legendary rap group Run-DMC took to the website Reddit to answer fans' questions, and he didn't  disappoint. 

When asked what he thinks of the rap music that has been released this year, DMC said that he doesn't know "what the hell is going on with hip hop right now." Exactly. He hit the nail right on the head with that answer. As everybody with a brain bigger than a penny knows, mainstream rap these days just sucks... hard. It sucks so hard that it actually blows at the same time. 

Mr. McDaniels a.k.a. DMC added: "I've been listening to Zeppelin, Nivana, Pearl Jam and Pentagram."

When DMC was asked if Adidas still sends him free stuff, he replied in the affirmative and said that they send him so much stuff that he has to tell them to stop.

If you want to read some of DMC's answers to fans' questions, you can check it out on reddit for yourself by following the link below.

linkage: DMC answers fans questions on Reddit

Kylie Jenner Cheated on Tyga With Another Rapper

Kylie Jenner is said to have cheated on Tyga with another crappy rapper named Stitches, and he claims that he has proof. What is the proof? Stitches (whoever that is) told his homeboy to smell his fingers 20 minutes after it happened? If that's the only proof he has, it's not very good. I would like to see this proof, Stitches McGee.

The rapper told In Touch magazine that she cheated on Tyga with him shortly after her 18th birthday and that "She didn’t bring up Tyga, not one time. She did not seem remorseful, not one bit." The rapper then gave a lousy excuse as to why he is blabbing to the press about his alleged sexual-action-time with Ms. Jenner: "I thought it was a good idea to come at her ’cause, I’m not gonna lie — she ignored me after that day we had sex."

So, there you have it. Apparently stitches has the mind set of a teenage girl. Dude, who cares if she doesn't talk to you anymore. You already "hit it." Therefore, you should just quit it.

But we all know the real reason that Stitches turned "Snitches": he wants free publicity. It worked, Stitches, because before this story came to light I had no idea who you were. 

And to Kylie, I say: "If you really want to piss off Tyga, you can cheat on him with a scummy white boy like me. What a great idea!

linkage: Glitz and Dirt

Man Claims He and His Son Got High Off Meth From Hotel Coffee Pot

 
Travis Richard claims that he got high and his son got sick from drinking
coffee made in the coffee pot in an Omaha, Nebraska hotel room.

Travis, his wife Amber, and their young children were staying at the Ramada Inn (I actually stayed at this very hotel, it was decent) in Omaha over Labor Day weekend when his alleged "highness" occurred. Mr. Richard claims that he made coffee in their room's coffee pot, drank it, and then felt high about twenty minutes later. He also gave his two-year-old son a sip of the coffee and it made the little boy sick. Who would give a two-year-old a sip of coffee? Not me, unless the child was dying of thirst in a desert or stuck on a mountain.

The family went to the hospital where the father and son were tested for drugs. And, sure enough, the test came back positive for an amphetamine, although it is unclear at this time if the amphetamine was indeed crystal methamphetamine. 

The Richards think that a former guest hid or put crystal meth in the hotel room's coffee pot for some reason. The hotel staff isn't really convinced that the man got high on their supply... of coffee, that is.

I'm not saying Richard is lying, and I'm not saying that he is telling the truth; but if somebody wanted to sue a hotel and get rich, this is a wonderful and original way to do it. If he did make up the story, I say to Mr. Richard: "Good one. You're pretty clever."

link: Huffington Post 

Colorado Man Eats Pot Candy/Kills Wife?

EAT AND KILL, EAT AND KILL

A Colorado Man Eats Some Pot Candy Called Karma Kandy and then Allegedly Shoots His Wife

I am overjoyed by this story-- I really am. Not because a woman was killed, but because it proves me right, which I always am.

A Denver, Colorado man (he's probably a hippie stoner) allegedly (yeah, sure) shot his wife (with a gun, of course, what the heck?) after ingesting some pot candy that he bought at a marijuana mart. The candy the man ate is called Kandy Karma. Yummy, that sounds delicious... deliciously stupid.

Richard "Trick Dick" Kirk, 49, has been charged with first-degree murder for the death of his wife that occurred in 2014. Why did it take so long for investigators to charge him with this crime? Were they too stoned to get off their couch and do anything about it. "Hey, Sergeant, we should totally go arrest Richard Kirk for shooting his wife." 

"No way, Jose. Pass me the bong and those cookies before I assign you to desk duty, rookie."

In the moments leading up to Mr. Kirk allegedly shooting his wife, she was on the horn with 911 dispatchers saying that her husband was acting drunk. Mr. Kirk broke a window on his house to climb into the residence and cut himself in the process. He's a pretty smart fellow, no? 

Kirk is going to plead insanity at his trial. But prosecutors are saying that's a load of bunk because he had his wits about him enough to remember the gun safe combination to get his gun.

So, how does this story prove me right? Because 99.99999 percent of stoners say that weed is harmless and that it should be legal in every state for every reason... and I say it isn't harmless, and I am correct. No, pot shouldn't be legal for recreational use in America; there are already enough dopey people walking around these days. The problem would be even worse if it were legal for recreational purposes all across America. I've often heard people say: "When people do the pot they don't go home and beat their wife like an alcoholic does." Is that so? No, they just get stoned and shoot them. And, the people who say such things are usually smoking pot and drinking at the same time, so that makes their argument null and void right there anyway. They are talking bad about alcohol and putting pot on a pedestal, but meanwhile they have a can of beer in their hand. 

Come on, people, put down the bong and pick up a book. If you're not that good at reading you can go do something else, like punching yourself in the neck. I'd really appreciate it. And, by the way, I'm not anti-drugs, I'm anti marijuana.

More Proof That Former NFL Players Have Brain Damage

A study of 91 former NFL players' brains conducted by the Boston University School of Medicine has determined what everybody should've already known by now: former NFL players have brain damage -- or, more specifically, chronic traumatic encephalopathy. Of the 91 brains that were studied, 87 of them showed signs of CTE. So, what's the deal with the four players whose brains were not scrambled? Were they kickers or punters?

Imagine (if you would, please) someone telling you that they don't have brain damage, but they do have some damage to their brain. Now, would you say that there is a difference or would you punch that person in the face and say, "No, you have brain damage?" These are questions that have to be asked of people around the world -- preferably before P. Diddy and I get "playa hated" on some more. It's an everyday occurrence of pandemic proportions.

People who suffer from the CTE show symptoms of memory loss, depression, and dementia, which means that their brain power gets progressively worse causing their memory and thinking to go down the drain; the brain drain.

Do not feel sorry for NFL players because they make more money for playing one game than most people earn all year. A little (or a lot) of CTE is a fair trade-off for such riches and fame.

Catholic Priests Are Being Relocated To South America

"Children five and under ride free."

Catholic Church has been relocating their molesting priests to South America

I just don't think I understand; I'm like Billy Ray's "achey-breaky" heart. 

The disgusting sinners who are in charge of the Catholic Church has been relocating their worst (or best, if you look at it from their point of view) American-based priests to foreign countries to continue their devilish practice of molesting children for years. Will it ever stop? No, it will not. 

You see that guy up there in the photograph? That is none other than Father Francisco Montero who was accused of molesting a 4-year-old girl. Is this man in prison? Yeah, right. He's a priest, so he gets special protection. He has been relocated to his native land of Peru by the Catholic Church and he continues to give a sermon god-damned week. "Isn't that special?"

If Montero isn't disgusting enough for you, how about Father Frederico Fernandez Baeza? He was indicted in 1987 on two second-degree felony charges of indecency with a child. 

Not only is Father Baeza guilty of that, a family from Texas claims that Baeza ritually raped two brothers over a two-year period of time. But, the scumbag Catholic priest never got in trouble for that because he paid off the family for $1 million. 

Is that what you Catholic churchgoers put money in the collection plate for, to get these perverts out of trouble? Give till it hurts because lawyers are expensive.

Child molesting is the number one pastime for these priests in big fancy dresses. This game that they play is here to stay. It won't go away before the game of baseball does, so count on it never happening.

Here's a link with more disgusting details: 
 http://www.usatoday.com/story/news/world/2015/09/17/us-priests-sex-abuse-relocate-south-america/32551455/

 

Facebook Is Adding A "Dislike" Button

Facebook is finally adding a "dislike" button after years of listening to people whine about how bad they want one. Zuckerberg made the announcement at a Facebook Q and A at the Facebook headquarters today.

When the new "dislike" or whatever it will be called option is put into place, you can click on the "like" button when someone says they fell down and broke their face and they will know that you really mean that you liked that they broke their face.

Wife Steals Cop Car With Husband Inside

Now that is what I call a good woman. An Alaska man (Joshua Watford, 28) was in the back seat of a cop car because he failed to show up for a stupid mandatory DWI class. His wife (Amber Watford) hopped into the driver's seat of that there patrol car and took off when the dumb cop was busy talking to a passing motorist. I know how cops are, so the cop was probably busy flirting with a handsome female when he got distracted.

The police with their stupid dogs and helicopters couldn't find the couple afterwards. But, sadly, the couple were apprehended three days ago when some jerk decided not to mind his or her own business and told the cops where the happily-married couple were located. 

Mrs. Watford was bailed out of jail and her husband is still in the pokey -- no doubt he is bragging to his fellow inmates about how bad ass his wife is.

 

Man Films Himself Having Sexual Relations With Animals

"I'll watch your dog while you're away."

Man Has Sex With Three Dogs and a Horse

I must say, this man's actions were filthy and downright dastardly. Travis A. Joy is a 45-year-old man from Spokane County who filmed himself having sex with three dogs and a horse and filmed it for later viewings. He claims that he filmed it so he could watch it later and not have to repeat the act. Certainly that is a lie and a plea for some leniency for his wrongdoings. If that were the case, he could've stopped after only filming himself with one of the dogs. 

Did he think that his friend's dog (that he raped and taped)was more comely than his own dog? Yes, he raped his own dog, too. He's a cheater. 

A former roommate of Mr. Joy discovered the footage of him with the animals after he moved out of the house and left it behind. Oops. 

If you want some more of the gruesome details, go right here.

 

 

Take a Ride On the Euthanasia Coaster

Although it is very unlikely that the Euthanasia Coaster will ever be built, it is still grand to pontificate thinking about its riders who want to die as they're taking their last ever ride on a roller coaster. You can picture the looks on their faces, how many people would cry out in vein "stop this ride!," etc. It's a wonderful idea, especially for people who love roller coasters and also want to die; it's a match made in heaven.

If you're interested in the specific details of the coolest coaster ever dreamed of, check out the link, you dink.

Euthanasia Coaster 

 

63 Earths Can Fit In Uranus

Teen Shows Off New Air Jordans, Friends Steal Them

Friends Steal Air Jordans From Teen

Michael Kelly and Christopher Hernandez, both 18 years old, have been charged with armed robbery, kidnapping, and aggravated battery for stealing a friend's Air Jordan sneakers and his cellphone. With friends like that, who needs cousins, right?

A teenager from West Palm Beach, Florida handed his brand new Jordans to three teens that were in a car outside of his house so they could "get a closer look at them." When the teens in the automobile started to drive away, the victim jumped inside the vehicle to retrieve his $170 kicks. One of the accused, Michael Kelly, is quite obese, so there is no way in hell that Jordans are going to make him jump any higher or run faster.

Whilst inside the car, the victim asked the alleged assailants to let him out of the car with his fresh new sneakers, but they weren't having it; in fact, they decided to make the victims day even worse. They told him to give up his cellphone or they would shoot him, and then the teens put a pillow case over his head. Then the teens are said to have pulled the teen out of the car, beat him up something fierce, and then threw him in a canal.

Hernandez was released from jail and Kelly is still sitting in there on $30,000 bail.

Do you think the kids will still be friends? I doubt it. At least the victim learned a couple of valuable lessons that he can carry with him into his adult life. Good luck, kid.

via: Sun Sentinel

Ashley Madison Owner's Planned What's Your Wife Worth App.

The company that is en vogue to hate right now (Avid Life Media, the owner's of Ashley Madison) have people even more upset with them... and it's for something that they didn't even do, yet.

ALM was planning on launching a smartphone app called "What's Your Wife Worth?" Well, cry me a river, right? The app that they were planning on launching isn't nearly as offensive in the masses collective mind as ashleymadison.com. And, besides, there are already "rating" sites on the Internet. Sure, they may not be considered to be as tasteless as "What's Your Wife Worth," but so what. 

Don't be upset, all you perfect people... there's no such thing as right or wrong if you really want to get right down to the heart of the matter. And, your wife is wonderful -- she must be worth a billion American dollars. You should go put your "thingy" in her right now before somebody else with more money and a nicer car beats you to it.

via: dailydot.com

I Know I'm Not the Only One

Surely I can't be the only person who listens to a song and thinks, "it would be neat to jump off a bridge while listening to that song." 

"Clarity" by Zedd is one of those songs.

Dumb Guy On Segway Crashes Into Usain Bolt

Nicole "Snooki" Polizzi Claims Her Husband Didn't Use Ashley Madison Website

"I'm so educated and smart... durrr!"

Snooki "The Wombat Wookie" Polizzi is claiming that her husband didn't use the Ashley Madison website to cheat on her. 

It has been reported that Snooki's husband's e-mail address was used to create an account on ashleymadison.com. So, Snooki went on instagram and rambled off some things about how her husband would never cheat on her, and if he did, he wouldn't have to use a website to do it. Well, the point of the website is to find other people who want to cheat and not get caught... so, yeah, Snooki, maybe he would use a website to cheat on you. The whole post sounds like she is trying to convince herself that her husband wouldn't cheat on her. I, myself, am not convinced that he wouldn't cheat on her.

In her instagram post she said many wonderful and poignant things. Here is a sample: "Jionni is the the [sic] most humble, respectful, and most loyal souls [sic] I know."

Yes, she did make two terrible mistakes in one sentence. Maybe she should have somebody type and proofread for her. 

One of her fans, named "bambbri" commented:  

  And in all honesty no one wants to talk nor give you the credit you deserve, from watching the first episode of jersey shore and seeing you be a crazy meatball to a lovely, educated, mother I must say the transformation you did is inspiring!

Educated? Yeah, "Snooki" is a regular old Rhodes scholar, isn't she. Her story is so inspiring, isn't it? She was paid to get drunk on TV and act like a fool and then she got pregnant and married. Wow! That is one riveting story!

via: Snooki's Instagram 

Female News Reporter Shot and Killed On Live TV

Female News Reporter Shot & Killed On Live TV

Here is something that you don't see every day -- or twice a week, for that matter. A shooting on live TV! A female news reporter, Alison Parker, 24, and her cameraman, Adam Ward, 27, were filming a segment this morning at a water park in Virginia when the murders took place.

The shooting took place at 6:45 a.m. whilst Alison Parker was interviewing somebody at the park for some reason or another. I watched the video a few times, but I didn't pay attention to what the old bitty was saying either time.

Here is the "shocking" video that captures the action. Talk about being the first on the scene! The shooter is still on the loose and there is no word on what the shooter's motive was.

Warning: The video is not for the faint of heart, but it isn't gruesome, per se.

Man Accused Of Stealing Potato Chips From Child Stabs A Man

Clarence Dorn Jr. (56) was arrested in North Portland, Oregon on Saturday night after stabbing a man in the neck for accusing him of stealing potato chips from a child's plate. 

The way I see it, either Mr. Dorn was pissed off for being accused of something he didn't do or he was upset that he got caught. Either scenario is plausible.

When officers and paramedics rolled up on the scene of the alleged crime, they found Robert Alexander with a stab wound in his neck. His injury isn't life-threatening.

The police found Clarence Dorn Jr. at a nearby park and arrested him. He has been charged with 2nd degree assault.

There is no word on whether or not Dorn had potato chip grease on his fingers and/or lips when he was apprehended.